Every day we use many matches to light our stove/oven and we use cotton swabs to clean various body parts. While refilling the cotton swab holder (a.k.a. Tupperware container with a lost lid), I (DeAnna) looked at the bag and was struck by the different sizes (some are more than double tipped) and some only had the cotton on one side of the stick (ouch!). I’ve always been confused with the matches. Some are short, too short to light, some are missing the striking part and are just a piece of wood, some break easily when struck to light and some are solid.
These cotton swabs and matches remind me of me. There are days when I feel like I’m solid, ignited and more than double tipped. There are more days when I feel like the match that easily breaks or the cotton swab that is missing one of its cotton ends or the match missing the striking part all together.
Since our return to Cameroon in November, I’ve had to work through a lot. Shortly after we returned and I went to the basketball court where Jonah was injured, a surge of emotions ran through me, practically paralyzing me. I went into fight or flight mode and I wanted to fly, but I couldn’t, literally couldn’t because all our passports were in a governmental office so we could have updated residency type identity papers. I didn’t want to go anywhere near the school, but I had to daily because Joshua was attending there and he needed to be dropped off and picked up. I turned to a friend for help who used to serve here and who is a counselor. I’ve worked through a lot and am so thankful for the Lord’s work within me and that once we received our passports back, I didn’t feel the need to hop on the first jet plane outta here.
Facing our fears is both difficult and frightening. But it is our only way to victory. So proud. Of you for facing your fears. Praying for you all.